Vero (1988): Argentinian, life-coach and author, Veromosti
1- What do you understand under feeling lost?
To me, an image of a gray, dark and foggy place comes into mind. I do not see where I am going and there is a sense of desperation rising inside of me. This desperation originates as my ego cannot identify himself with a specific image.
2- Please, describe a specific situation when you felt that way.
I was working in communications in Buenos Aires for a few years when an inner urge to leave Argentina got stronger and stronger. At some point, I took my chance to go and work remotely. My first destination was Barcelona, Spain.
After a while though, the conditions within my company worsened dramatically and I decided to quit. It was not at all a rational decision as I did not even have an economic safety net to rely on. However, deep inside myself, I knew that it was an important decision I had to take.
From then on, I would love to tell you that life welcomed this difficult step of mine with flowers, hugs, and love… But that was not at all the case. I encountered one challenge after another. Nothing worked out as I was hoping for.
By that time, working in a bar or at a restaurant was something I simply did not want to invest my time and energy to. Still, I was not landing any other opportunities to generate an income.
Finally, I received an invitation for an interview at a social marketing company. It was very exciting and I was definitely more than qualified to work there. Anyhow, exactly on the day of my interview, traffic was horrible and I ended up being late. The person who was supposed to meet me had already left by the time I arrived…
So, I had no money to go back home to Argentina, no job and I felt alone.
Then, I asked myself “what can I do about all of this right NOW?”. The only skill coming up in my mind was: weaving. I knew how to weave so I invested my last 30€ for some material and went on the streets selling handmade wallets. I kept on questioning myself what I was doing and I was so embarrassed.
Still, creating my own product and making people happy with it, showed me that I was on the right path anyway.
3- Which three tools helped you to overcome or to deal with those moments?
Buying stuff (not recommended)
The first times in my life that I felt lost, I used to soothe the experience through material objects. Obviously, I learned that this is no long-term solution. Don’t do it!
Time for myself
It was hard but spending time with myself led me to become independent and to discover my inner strength.
Investigating the lives of my role models
Somehow, I found lots of motivation behind discovering the different stories and backgrounds of people I admire. I always seemed to idolize them but once I knew more about their life, I realized that they are just humans too.
The book Mastery from Robert Greene is exactly about this topic. So I would strongly recommend it!
4- Which main lesson or result did you get out of those more challenging times?
- The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself.
- The truth that you seek lies within yourself.
- Everybody has a purpose in life and it is your responsibility to figure which one is yours.
- Allowing yourself to feel what you feel is an act of self-love.
- You can count on yourself.
5- What could be done to help somebody who is feeling lost?
As we are oftentimes trapped in a world of appearances, the best that can be done is that the person who feels lost shares his/her experience. It is true that some people might distance themselves from you but it might be a clear sign that they shouldn’t necessarily be in your life anymore.
Also, going to dance therapy might be a great option too. This conscious movement helps to trust, love and respect yourself again. At least that’s what it did for me.
6- Why did feeling lost become such a common experience nowadays?
We still follow an image which tells us what we are supposed to achieve and do at a certain age. It is socially accepted that you have a set career at age “X”, a house at age “Y” and a family at age “Z”. When we haven’t reached these achievements yet, we start wondering if we are doing something wrong. This provokes an internal battle between what is socially seen as correct and what our inner self says is correct.
What is more, we are tearing down the industrial mindset were priorities are organized chronologically by “first DOING, then HAVING and finally BEING”. Nowadays it’s more about “BEING, DOING and then HAVING”.